Coping with a sudden miscarriage can be a life-changing event. Perhaps you were just rejoicing over the positive pregnancy test a few weeks or months ago. Then, all of a sudden, all the hopes and excitement came to a screeching stop. You knew the baby was growing inside of you and you may have even formed a bond. Now you are overwhelmed with many emotions such as sadness, anger, resentment, and possibly wanting to remain alone.
It is something no parent should ever have to experience, and yet 1 in 4 pregnancies end in a loss. This is more common than you think which means you are not alone in your grief.
The emotions and reactions that accompany your loss are real. Understanding the emotions will help you process the feelings and eventually come to terms with the loss. There are many stages that you commonly go through with your grief; but, the order in which you progress through the first three will vary.
- Shock and denial. This stage consists of feelings of numbness and the feeling that “this didn’t happen to me.” You might not want to be around anyone and social interactions can feel exhausting. This is part of your body’s automatic response to help protect you from the trauma of the loss.
- Guilt and anger. It is very common to blame yourself as if you have done something wrong to have caused the miscarriage, or possibly blaming others. You might also struggle with feelings of hatred towards others who are already parents or those that are pregnant around you.
- Depression and despair. You may feel sadness, find yourself crying constantly, or disinterested in most things. You might also not have an appetite or be able to sleep. You may also wonder if you will ever have a successful pregnancy.
- Acceptance. In time, you will find some peace and be able to get back to your daily routine. This does not mean you forget the loss. You just have allowed yourself some space to grieve appropriately.
Whether or not you underwent a surgical procedure to treat the miscarriage, your physician will let you know when you can resume normal activities like exercise and sex. In the past, physicians used to recommend waiting a few months before trying to get pregnant after a miscarriage. However, today most are in an agreement that it is okay to try again as soon as you have had one normal menstrual cycle. Be sure to check with your physician about your specific situation. If you have experienced numerous losses, as a referral to a fertility specialist called an REI might be appropriate to assess other fertility issues and possible treatment options.
Try to have faith. A miscarriage itself is typically a one-time event for many women and is actually an indicator of future fertility.
If you have more specific questions about the next steps after a miscarriage, you can schedule an appointment at any of the Aspire Fertility Clinics or call the:
- Houston Clinic at (713) 425-3003
- Dallas Clinic at (214) 414-3806
- Atlanta Clinic at (678) 274-6760