Aspire Blog

How to Talk to Your Partner About Surrogacy

Posted on November 3rd, 2017

Managing infertility and accepting the reality that help is needed to conceive can be difficult. However, hearing that in order to have a child you must consider using a gestational surrogate can be an even greater weight on your shoulders.

It is a choice that affects a lot of people and is a highly emotional issue due to the delicate and intimate nature of having a baby via gestational surrogacy. Naturally, this is a topic that needs to be discussed with your partner at great length. Here are our tips for having a healthy and productive conversation with your partner about the process.

Start a Dialogue

There are numerous issues for consideration–the feelings of your surrogate and well as her family, your unborn baby, as well as yourself. Here are some questions to help begin the dialogue with your partner:

  • How do you feel about someone else carrying your baby?
  • How does your partner feel about another woman carrying a baby on your behalf?
  • Is your partner on the same page as you?
  • Are you ready to make the leap from your current treatment to the surrogacy?
  • How will you talk about gestational surrogacy to your family and friends?
  • How will you explain gestational surrogacy to your child?

Selecting a Surrogate

You must also consider the process of selecting a surrogate, which involves great time commitment from all parties. You must consider the required medical procedures, the legal process that is going to be involved, and any travel considerations. You also need to process your thoughts on what a gestational surrogate pregnancy will look like, your preferences for a delivery plan and the post-delivery details. All of these issues can be managed and navigated with the assistance of a professional team.

As an intended parent, you will have to choose a surrogate professional for your journey. There are generally two options: surrogacy attorneys and surrogacy agencies. Surrogacy attorneys are for those that are pursuing surrogacy independently as they are necessary for every surrogacy arrangement to make sure all laws are followed. Attorneys do not typically provide the coordination of the other services involved in the surrogacy process but may be able to refer you to other professionals. Surrogacy agencies are a “one-stop shop” and provide coordination of all the services and professionals in addition to providing support throughout the process.

While there are many things to think about when considering gestational surrogacy, rest assured that surrogate cycles are done every day and have resulted in many positive outcomes. At the end of the day, what matters most is even though your route to motherhood might be less traveled, it does not make it any less legitimate and in fact, it can be a very unique and special experience.

For more information on gestational surrogacy, please schedule an appointment at any of the Aspire Fertility Clinics or call the:


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